


Nocturne

by CanineKitten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Betaed, Bittersweet, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Desk Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-13 08:56:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18028718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. Their bodies gravitated towards each other without their conscious thought. It was like a nature law. As soon as they were in the same room, they pulled each other in. It was a miracle that they had managed to hide it for so many years.





	1. The Brightest Light Casts the Darkest Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Sometimes he wondered how they had ended up like this. Most times, he didn’t question it because he knew the answer was complicated. He didn’t know when or how they had decided they weren’t for each other. He wasn’t sure if they ever did decide anything. They just broke apart, slowly, like ice on a lake in the glare of the spring sun.

They had lived their life in a private darkness until then, willfully ignoring the world around them. They had wished for the darkness to never end. They had been safe within it. In the light of day, in the long days of spring, they were faced with the fact that their relationship was not meant to be.

In the solitude that they sought after the war when they travelled the world together, going farther out than anyone else had ever gone before, they had only needed to think about each other and themselves.

When they came back, they realized that a lot of people wanted to poke their noses where they were not wanted, and meddled in their affairs. They started distrusting themselves, second-guessing their feelings, and seeing the worst in what they were doing. They fought and broke up, got back together, and fought again.

Then they broke up again, and never got back together. They told themselves it was better that way. They weren’t good for each other anyway. Besides, Sasuke needed to continue the Uchiha line, and Naruto needed to show that he was trustworthy Hokage material. They did what was expected of them.

Sasuke had never regretted anything more his whole life.

 

\------

 

Sasuke was waiting in a dark hotel room. A plump full moon hung in the sky outside, and it’s bright light had managed to break in through a gap between the curtains. Now it was creating a white rectangle on the hardwood floor, proud to have breached into this room of shadows and silence.

Sasuke stood and closed the curtains, making sure not the faintest ray of light could reach inside. He was nervous. It had been a while since he did this the last time. Half a year, to be precise. He realized that he was absently caressing the stump of his right arm, and stopped it immediately. It was his version of nervous pacing.

He felt fidgety, but to someone watching him he would look completely calm and collected.

The door into the room opened quietly. Someone less attentive might have missed it, but Sasuke didn’t. Soft footsteps on the floor. A barely noticeable swish of clothes. Then the door closed soundlessly.

Complete silence reigned.

Sasuke didn’t turn away from the window.

His heart was pounding in his chest like this was the first time again. He took a slow, steadying breath before turning around. The person standing by the door was completely shrouded in darkness. The only reason Sasuke could see him was because his eyes were so used to the darkness that he could make out the slightly darker figure among the shadows.

They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. Their bodies gravitated towards each other without their conscious thought. It was like a nature law. As soon as they were in the same room, they pulled each other in.

It was a miracle that they had managed to hide it for so many years.

Sasuke felt rough, broad hands grab his shoulders, felt the presence of immense and comforting heat. He felt his legs go weak. This was exactly like the first time. When Naruto cocked his head slightly and leant closer, Sasuke instinctively cocked his head the other way so that they didn’t clash. Even in the darkness their mouths found each other without hesitation.

Their lips molded effortlessly together, even after all these years. Their hands sought and found the right spots; the small of Naruto’s back, the nape of Sasuke’s neck, on instinct. They fit together, perfectly, like they always had. Always would. Nothing could take that away from them.

Not even after all this time.

After so much time apart they were both impatient to reacquaint themselves with each other’s bodies. Naruto backed Sasuke towards the bed, and they tumbled onto it, still entangled in each other.

Sasuke scooted backwards on the bed, Naruto following and somehow didn’t break their kiss for even a second.  He pulled away only to shuck off his own travel cloak. Sasuke was only wearing a light, grey sweater and loose pants. He had been waiting long enough to have had taken a long, hot shower and had still waited a while before Naruto showed up.

Naruto draped himself over Sasuke to kiss him again.

“Should I take a shower?” he said between kisses.

He was still covered in travel dust. Sasuke shook his head and pulled Naruto down into another kiss by the back of his neck. He smelled like sweat and earth, but Sasuke couldn’t care less. He tugged at Naruto’s shirt while his mouth was plundered. He gasped as that tongue caressed his gently, though Naruto swallowed the sound.

“Sas’ke,” Naruto groaned. He grabbed Sasuke’s hips and pulled him closer, like he was hauling a sack of flour.

It brought forth a soft gasp from Sasuke, but Naruto already knew it would.

Manhandling was Sasuke’s secret kink, and one that Naruto was more than happy to indulge in even though Sasuke weighed nearly as much as him. It meant Naruto had to stay in perfect shape on the off-hand that they could steal a few hours together, or maybe even the whole night, like this time.

“I’ve been thinking about you the whole day,” Naruto murmured while he kissed the side of Sasuke’s neck. “It was torture. I just wanted to go see you right away.”

Sasuke ran his hands through Naruto’s surprisingly short hair. He kept waiting for him to grow it out, but he never did. Sasuke couldn’t say he enjoyed Naruto’s tired dad-look much, but he couldn’t bring himself to bother Naruto about it when he always was so exhausted. Their stolen moments together were too short to spend dragging each other down.

“You were late,” Sasuke said.

“Got held up at the office.” Naruto said. “That job is killing me. It’s nothing more than a paper mill. All I do all day is signing and approving stuff.” He sighed and buried his face in the hollow of Sasuke’s throat, mouthing the sensitive skin there.

Sasuke swallowed thickly, barely able to hold back a small shudder at how good it felt. He ran his fingers through the hair on the nape of Naruto’s neck.

“Doesn’t it feel good to be able to decide things, though?” he asked. “You’re wielding a lot of power… Surely you can pull some strings.”

Naruto stopped placing kisses on Sasuke’s throat. His breath fanned over the skin, which made Sasuke squirm a little. Naruto didn’t notice. He was deep in thought.

“I thought I would,” he said softly. “But I… I feel trapped. I’m one of the most powerful people in the world. I should have everything at my beck and call. But the truth is that being Hokage doesn’t mean freedom to rule. It means having a crushing responsibility on your shoulders, and being tied up and pushed around by all the opposing powerhouses that surround me.”

Sasuke nuzzled Naruto’s temple. He didn’t know what to say. His heart broke for Naruto. When he was a child, no dream has seemed big enough. No obstacle had seemed opposing enough.

Now that he was a grown up, he had finally learned that creating a better place wasn’t as easy as he’d thought. He’d learned that there were stronger powers ruling the world than the determination of one strong-headed boy.

“We’re never gonna win by playing fair,” Sasuke whispered against Naruto’s hair. He had said it many times before, and he would say it again. “Either we take the world by force, or we sit by quietly as we get more and more entangled in the web of lies.”

“No,” Naruto said firmly. Then he sighed and added more gently. “You know that’s not the way. You can’t force peace. You can’t kill your way to justice.”

Sasuke knew that. He had learned. That was the only reason he sat idly by and let Naruto do the deciding. He wished that there was another way, but logically he knew far too well how true change worked. It took time. It took excruciatingly much time, probably more than his mortal body could survive. Maybe he’d never live to see Konoha change, but he hoped for his daughters sake that he could do something to make the world she grew up in a better one.

That didn’t mean he didn’t hope to one day hear Naruto echo his sentiments. To stand up next to him and force the hands of the old ghosts that still held their oppressing iron hands over them. Those shadowy claws still reached them from beyond the grave, bearing the name ‘tradition’ to instill the feeling of something good and innocent.

Tradition was stagnation, and stagnation was equal to death.

“You have to stop thinking so much about it,” Naruto said softly. He lifted himself to his elbows and looked down at Sasuke.

“How can I stop thinking about it?” Sasuke said. “There’s no justice in this life. I’m only a shadow with no roots.”

Naruto stroked Sasuke’s cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“You have Sarada, though,” he said. “Doesn’t she count for something?”

Sasuke closed his eyes, although Naruto probably couldn’t see his face very clearly in the pale moonlight that barely filtered through the curtains.

“She does,” he said. “She means everything.” He took a deep breath to steady his voice, and touched the side of Naruto’s face.

“I just wish…” he hesitated. He felt foolish for thinking it, but it could not be denied.

Naruto waited expectantly, knowing better that to try and push Sasuke.

“I wish she was ours,” he said, his face growing warm.

Naruto kissed him. “Me too,” he said. Then he chuckled. “Though it’s not possible, of course, but…” He didn’t elaborate further. There was no point in getting lost in dreams. They knew that far too well.

Naruto leant down and kissed Sasuke again, slowly and gently at first, touching first his bottom lip and then his upper lip before gently licking the seam of his mouth. Sasuke’s lips parted on a soft sigh, allowing Naruto’s tongue inside. The kiss started out gently, but soon it got more heated.

Naruto tugged at Sasuke’s shirt, pulling it over his head. Sasuke tried to do the same with Naruto, but that was easier thought than done. Naruto was wearing a new jacket that was made from hard leather and buckled up like a bulletproof west. Sasuke had a feeling Naruto looked great in it and wished he’d gotten a chance to see it before he tore it off. Apparently, his drab dad-look had been upgraded a little.

Naruto helped him loosen the buckles, his fingers fumbling in the semi-darkness. Finally the jacket fell to the floor with a heavy thump and Naruto leaned over Sasuke in nothing but a very thin, sweat-stained shirt. Sasuke felt how the fabric was moist with perspiration. He pulled that off too.

Naruto sniffed himself. “I can go and wash off,” he said, though he made no move to get off the bed. Instead he leaned over Sasuke again.

“No,” Sasuke said as he pulled Naruto down closer. “We can shower afterwards.” He’d been waiting so long already, and somehow the added dirtiness heightened his sense of urgency. The thought of Naruto rushing to come to him, getting dirtied and sweaty in his haste, and then to just pounce on Sasuke immediately, unable to hold back even for long enough to take his shoes off, was enough to make Sasuke hard and needy and pliant, all at the same time.

He had prepped while in the shower, and though that was an hour ago now, he still felt the softest tingle where his fingers had been. He was breathing heavily now, and Naruto hadn’t even started touching him. At the moment he was, by the sounds of it, and judging by his silhouette, busy unwrapping a condom and unbuttoning his pants to roll it onto his stiff cock.

Sasuke cursed the bad lighting once again and considered activating his sharingan, but it would use up unnecessarily much energy, and he was already tired from the many days of journeying.

He wriggled out of his own pants and coated one hand with lube before reaching down to apply it and stretch himself. He was unable to stop himself from thrusting deeply enough to rub the tips of his fingers against his prostate. He tried to keep his breathing even, but he couldn’t hold back a small hitch as the applied pressure sent sizzling sparks of pleasure through him.

Naruto ran his hands down Sasuke’s thighs, stopping just at the hollow of his hips before running them up to the bend of his knee and down his calves. He leant down to kiss the inside of his thigh, starting at his knee, then slowly moving downwards until his cheek brushed Sasuke’s hand.

Sasuke thrust a little too hard as he felt Naruto’s breath and lips so close to his cock. He applied more lube, and then Naruto took the lube from him and squeezed some into his own hand. He applied it to his cock, stroking slowly, the soft squelches alerting Sasuke to just what he was doing.

Sasuke closed his eyes briefly and forced himself to calm down a little. His breaths were coming in small puffs and his fingers had gotten a bit too eager. He slowed down before gently pulling out. He meant to palm his own cock, relieving some of the pressure, but Naruto beat him to it.

With a hand still slippery with lube, he took Sasuke’s cock and pumped slowly, focusing at the base at first before stroking outwards to the tip, making Sasuke jolt a little. Naruto loosened the grip and stroked his palm very gently over the tip, smearing it with lube and collecting precum, which he used to coat the rest of Sasuke’s cock.

Sasuke bit his teeth together over a soft moan, but a small, breathy sigh made it out anyway. He was a little annoyed that he was so much more sensitive than Naruto. There was an unspoken contest going on between them about who could make the other one lose their composure first. So far, Sasuke had lost nearly every time, though to be honest it didn’t bother him too much. Not when he knew how wild it drove Naruto when he heard Sasuke unravel.

They had to be a little quiet now, though, since the hotel they had chosen had thin walls, and they didn’t want to risk anyone recognizing them. It was going to be difficult, but Sasuke had always enjoyed a challenge.

Naruto pulled away when he realized Sasuke was getting a little overwhelmed. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sasuke breathed, parting his legs wider for Naruto to lower himself between them.

He tried to control his breathing, in turn controlling his erratic pulse and the sensitivity of every square inch of his skin, but he found he was unable to do it at the moment. He was about to unravel completely, and Naruto wasn’t even inside him yet.

“Wait,” he gasped as he felt Naruto lean over on one elbow, using his other hand to steady his cock.

Naruto stopped completely.

For a moment all Sasuke heard was his own erratic breathing. He tried to focus on slowing it. He was a little too overwhelmed.

“First time since…?” Naruto said.

He didn’t elaborate. They rarely asked each other about the sex life they had outside their meetings. They were both married. Sasuke had to assume that Naruto was still sleeping with his wife, though he never asked because he feared the answer too much.

Naruto, on the other hand, knew that Sasuke never slept with Sakura. He knew that their relationship was complicated, but that both of his friends had somehow agreed to a precarious balance that just barely kept them from breaking. Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure how his relationship with Sakura managed to balance that thin knife-edge. He just knew that Sakura slept with others, and that she assumed he did the same. It didn’t bother him in the least. He supposed they could as well just split up, but they had agreed to stay together at least until Sarada was older.

“Yes,” Sasuke answered. 

After his impromptu thoughts of his marriage, he felt himself calm down a little. He never slept with anyone else but Naruto. He was not a sociable person, and he didn’t trust others easily. Naruto was the only one for him. He didn’t tell Naruto that, though. It was better for the both of them to let Naruto make his own assumptions about Sasuke’s sex life. Let him believe that Sasuke managed fine without him. That way he wouldn’t feel too guilty about their rare moments together, and Sasuke could feel at least a little less pathetic.

Hinata knew about their relationship, and had accepted that her husband was not only hers. She got to marry him and have his children, so she felt that she’d already won over Sasuke. But she never reveled in it. Instead she always looked at Sasuke with a pity that was so much worse than disgust or hatred.She knew that he loved Naruto, and she knew that he could never have him, and that was why she pitied him.

Naruto hadn’t changed his position over Sasuke. He was languidly pumping his cock, judging by the sounds. He refrained from touching or even kissing Sasuke until he felt him breathe calmer.

“Ready?” he asked again. He caressed Sasuke’s cheek.

Sasuke nodded, knowing Naruto would feel it.

“Finally,” Naruto murmured at Sasuke’s ear as he positioned himself over him, the tip of his cock nudging Sasuke’s asshole. He kissed Sasuke deeply, at the same time sinking his cock slowly into him.

Sasuke twitched and made a sound that was muffled by Naruto’s mouth. Naruto had to let up on the kiss to take a few rushed breaths. Sasuke groaned softly, the sound barely a rumble in his throat.

He was so goddamned tight, and he had forgotten just how thick Naruto was.

Naruto nudged gently deeper inside of him.

Each gentle thrust sent sparks of delight through Sasuke’s body. It made his skin tingle, made him over sensitive. He still held back the soft moans, but he knew his breathing was giving him away. He knew that Naruto carefully monitored every one of his baited breaths and quiet gasps. Naruto knew how to read Sasuke, even when he was giving away as little as possible.

He started off innocently, just rolling his hips gently to nudge Sasuke into accepting him. He pecked Sasuke’s sweaty neck and carded his fingers through his hair. But after a while he slowly but surely picked up the pace as he felt Sasuke’s body give for him.

Sasuke closed his eyes and lifted his hand to his face and placed it over his mouth. It was an old trick he’d used far too many times, one that usually led to Naruto stopping and taking Sasuke’s hand in his own and trapping it on the bed next to Sasuke’s head, making sure he couldn’t hide behind it again. But this time Naruto could barely see Sasuke’s face anyway, so he didn’t notice.

Naruto slowly started fucking him harder and deeper until Sasuke felt like he was filled to the point of bursting. It didn’t hurt, not a bit, even though it’d been a while since the last time. He had prepped well, and Naruto was careful.

He wished he could see Naruto’s face more clearly. Instead he envisioned his expression behind his closed lids. Eyes half-closed in concentration, and a frown that was unusual to see on his face as he focused all his energy into making sure Sasuke felt good.

In the beginning, when they first started dating, he had been too focused on performance and had developed a weird, mechanical approach to sex where he seemed to plan everything beforehand. In the beginning it hadn’t always been so good for Sasuke either as they were still trying to figure out what worked and what didn’t, so it made for a few very awkward and sometimes even dispassionate acts.

Eventually they got the hang of it, though, and when they did they really got into it. Sasuke remember a few instances of desperate counter-fucking or even once on the floor as they seemingly couldn’t get to it quickly enough.

There was more blowjobs and frotting than actual fucking some times, but they had the passion back then, and they could often spend days in bed together, only getting up to order take out, while they cuddled and fucked and watched movies and cuddled and fucked again.

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke opened his eyes. He could see the silhouette of Naruto’s head and shoulders over him, but his expression was barely discernible in the faint light that barely reached into their room.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s hand and removed it from his face, holding it prisoner as he lowered down and kissed him. His lips were moist against Sasuke’s as they slid against his mouth and sucked briefly on his upper lips. Then Naruto thrust hard, directly upwards, and Sasuke gasped. He barely had time to collect himself before Naruto repeated the thrust, at the same time nipping on Sasuke’s bottom lip.

A broken moan escaped Sasuke.

Naruto made a soft humming sound in the back of his throat, a sound of delight and appreciation.

He fucked Sasuke for real now, each thrust seeking to draw out another moan, and they did. Between pants and hitched breaths, soft, desperate moans made their way up Sasuke’s throat.

This felt so much like before. Before they broke apart. While they still believed in each other. Believed in this.He wanted to let it all out, to just curl around Naruto and hiss in his ear to get a move on and fuck him properly.

‘Fuck my brains out.’

It had been a contest even then. Everything was a contest between them.

Since one of them had to assume the more submissive position, it became all that more important that they did something to restore the balance. Sasuke did that by challenging Naruto to give him the best he had.

‘You think you can make me come? Let’s see it, then.’

Naruto had behaved accordingly. He had fucked Sasuke senseless, just like he was doing now. Each thrust so powerful and seeming to reach deeper into Sasuke than he thought possible. He always felt that way, every time Naruto pushed into him. He’d think Naruto had touched every part of him that was possible to touch, but every time it felt like he managed to seek out a new, undiscovered place.

Sasuke wanted to moan loudly. He wanted it so bad.

He wanted to accept everything Naruto was giving him, and give it back tenfold. He wanted to make them both scream and writhe and rut.

But he couldn’t.

They couldn’t.

Their love had become forbidden.

Quiet.

Voiceless.

Whether it was their own fault or others, they could only speculate about. There was probably no answer. This was just what they had become, and seemingly, this was how they’d stay.

Sasuke let out a soft moan that sounded like a sob.

Naruto cradled his head between his arms and Sasuke felt his heavy breaths against his cheek.

“Scream for me,” Naruto whispered. “I want to hear you. Just this once, Sasuke. Let me hear you.”

He rolled his hips and thrust a little more shallowly, but quicker.

Sasuke collapsed back against the pillows. He opened his mouth and let out an outdrawn, low, desperate moan.

Naruto fucked him harder, and with each desperate thrust, Sasuke felt another gasp get ripped out of him.

“Yes,” Naruto growled against Sasuke’s throat. “Baby, I’m gonna make you come so hard…”

Sasuke didn’t have a chance. That pet name was his unraveling. He let go of all inhibitions and gave himself completely over to Naruto; mind, body and soul. He moaned lewdly and without any inhibitions.

Naruto’s hand clamped down over his mouth, firm and warm, but it didn’t stop the sounds coming from Sasuke’s throat.

“More, Sasuke,” Naruto groaned.

It was too late to think about discretion now. They’d probably already woken up anyone within a three-room vicinity. So that was not why Naruto was holding a hand over Sasuke’s mouth.

Sasuke writhed against the restraints. His hand was still held in place by Naruto’s firm grip, he could barely move his head, and Naruto’s weight on top of him was locking his whole body in place. He barely got enough air since Naruto’s hand was covering his mouth. His eyesight seemed to darken in patches. He was still breathing, Naruto wasn’t choking him, but he was getting light headed.

It was so good. Perfect. Just the way he liked it.

Naruto was thrusting into him with less finesse now. Sasuke could feel that he was getting close.

“I’m coming,” Naruto gasped. “I-I’m coming.”

Naruto was pushed so close to Sasuke that each movement he made rubbed his hard stomach muscles against Sasuke’s cock. Precum and residues of lube made the slide slick. It was almost enough to get him over the edge. 

Then Naruto pressed his forehead against Sasuke’s throat and came with a deep groan. He shoved his cock deep inside of Sasuke, making him moan softly, and spilled inside the condom. Sasuke felt Naruto’s cock twitch, and squirmed. He gasped against Naruto’s palm with each miniscule assault on his heightened senses.

Naruto moaned helplessly against the hollow of Sasuke’s throat, riding out his orgasm with small, jerky thrusts that sent sparks flying through Sasuke’s body. At last he was spent and for a moment he allowed himself to nearly collapse over Sasuke. Then he slowly lifted himself off Sasuke, slipping out of him as gently as he could.

Sasuke moaned and grasped Naruto’s hand to stop him from leaving him. It was an instinctual action since he knew that there was no way Naruto would leave him like this.

“I’ve got you,” Naruto soothed.

Sasuke didn’t let go of his hand, and Naruto didn’t try to pull away. He held onto Sasuke as he kneeled down between his legs and took his sensitive, twitching cock in his other hand. He steered the tip to his lips, and Sasuke could swear that his whole body turned into a puddle of trembling jelly. He moaned softly and desperately as Naruto lapped at his cock, carefully at first in order to ease him into it, but more surely and firmly after a while. Then one of Naruto’s fingers breached entrance into Sasuke’s slick asshole, sending tingles up the base of his spine from just the gentle contact with the outer ring of muscles.

Sasuke tensed and clutched Naruto’s hand.

His back arched and his toes dug into the mattress. Not a sound escaped his parted lips. His eyelids fluttered and he could swear he saw sparks go off in the corner of his eyes. Naruto didn’t let go of his cock, but sucked him deeply into his mouth and swallowed every single burst of cum as eagerly as though he was gulping down water.

He flickered his tongue over Sasuke’s cock, and squeezed the base, milking it for the last residues of his orgasm. Sasuke squirmed and whimpered softly as Naruto carefully lapped at his oversensitive flesh before finally letting him go.

He sat between Sasuke’s legs for a moment while Sasuke fought to catch his breath. He could feel Naruto eyes on him, and he enjoyed the attention. Even in the darkness he could feel the affection in that gaze.

“I’ll start the shower,” Naruto said in a hushed voice that strictly speaking was unnecessary after all the noise they had been making. But it felt right in the eerie silence of the room.

Sasuke lay sprawled where Naruto left him while he listened to the tap running in the bathroom. The wonderful tingle from the aftershocks of the orgasm still remained in his body. He felt more relaxed and unconcerned than he had for… for six months. He wasn’t thinking about their hopeless situation, or their ever so patient wives, or their neglected children. Instead he allowed himself to just feel content that in the moment he was with Naruto, and Naruto was with him, and for another few hours they would be everything to each other.

At the moment, that was enough.

 

\-----

 

The room was quiet once again. Outside, the full moon was nearly as bright as the sun. Its light had found another opening between the curtains, and was protruding into the room like a beacon. Sasuke buried his face in Naruto’s warm hair. He imagined that the sun had just warmed it up. He told himself he could feel the scent of fresh air and salt, and he imagined the sea. He envisioned Naruto smiling brightly, like life had no worries.

He was running through the sand towards Sasuke. The memory was so vivid that Sasuke could recall the feeling of scorching hot sand beneath his bare feet, and the sound of beach goers laughing in the distance, and the cries of the gulls that circled the trash cans. Naruto’s smile turned mischievous as he reached Sasuke, grabbed him and tackled him to the ground. Sasuke didn’t even fight it. He felt the scorching sand against his back. He had taken off his shirt despite the fact that he still was a bit self-conscious about his missing arm. The day had been too beautiful not to enjoy it in every way.

He closed his eyes tight.

That was a long time ago, back when they still knew how to love.

Now all they knew was the desperate hunger that they sated in quiet, stolen moments under the moon.

One tear made its way into Naruto’s warm hair, but Naruto didn’t notice.

He was fast asleep. 


	2. Encore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt inspired, so I decided to continue this story. I've never been very fond of unhappy endings, so I'm taking this in a slightly less angsty direction than had I planned to first ^^

It wasn’t often that Sasuke was back in Konoha, but when he was, he usually went to see Naruto immediately. This time was no exception. Unsurprisingly, Naruto was at his office, even though it was past 9 pm.

Sasuke didn’t knock but simply slipped in the window, quiet as a shadow.

Naruto didn’t even tense. Sasuke wasn’t sure how he knew that it was him and not an intruder. Perhaps the same way Sasuke always instinctively knew when Naruto was close by.

Sasuke took a scroll from his pouch and placed it on the desk. He was about to pull away when Naruto grabbed his wrist. He held him even when Sasuke made a weak attempt to pull his hand back. Instead Naruto tugged him closer, close enough that he could press his face against Sasuke’s stomach. He breathed in and sighed.

“You smell like the forest. Did you come straight here?”

Sasuke stepped out of Naruto’s arms and walked around the desk.

“Of course I did. I had a report to deliver.”

Naruto picked it up and rolled it out on top of all the other documents on his desk. How he could work in that clutter was something Sasuke would never understand.

“Are you staying this time?” Naruto asked, his eyes still on the scroll.

Sasuke walked restlessly across Naruto’s office. He listened for signs of life in the rest of the building, but all seemed quiet.

“Everyone has left for the day,” Naruto said, as though he had read Sasuke’s mind. “It’s just you and me here.”

Sasuke ran his hand over the old, torn, orange jacket lying on top of one of the filing cabinets.

When he turned back around, he found that Naruto was watching him.

“Sarada misses you,” he said.

Sasuke stopped in front of Naruto’s desk. “As I bet your children miss you right now.”

Naruto averted his eyes. He ran his hand over the neatly penned rows of writing on Sasuke’s scroll.

“You don’t have to leave Konoha for so long anymore,” he said. “The missions don’t call for it.”

“I don’t have to,” Sasuke said. “But I want to.”

He unbuttoned his cloak and turned around to drape it over the back of a chair that stood against the wall. He was wearing a simple, thin, long-sleeved shirt underneath. It was threadbare after diligent use and showed off his collarbones. He could sense Naruto’s eyes on him, trailing hungrily across every inch of his body, resting on the exposed skin of his neck and shoulder. He pretended not to notice, though he strutted his ass a little as he lingered. Then he turned around and walked back to the desk.

Naruto wasn’t even trying to hide his appreciative gaze.

“Shouldn’t you be reading that report, Hokage-sama?” Sasuke said. He sat down on a pile of documents on the edge of Naruto’s desk.

Naruto’s eyes hadn’t let go of him for as much as a second. He placed his hand on Sasuke’s knee.

“I’m technically done for the day,” Naruto said. “Is it so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow?”

His hand was slowly running higher and higher up on Sasuke’s thigh. Sasuke barely kept from squirming. He held Naruto’s gaze without blinking.

“I guess it can wait,” he said at last.

Naruto grinned.

Then he removed his hand and slowly rolled up the scroll. He leaned back in his chair and took his time. Sasuke tried to meet his gaze but Naruto was avoiding it on purpose. Now that he’d managed to rile up Sasuke, he was playing the waiting game. Sasuke didn’t have time for games. He kicked Naruto’s chair around so that he was facing him, and placed one foot between his legs. Naruto was looking at him now.

Sasuke tore the scroll out of his hands and threw it aside.

Naruto just had a satisfied little smile on his face.

Fuck.

Sasuke had played right into his trap.

“You thought you were clever, huh?” Sasuke said as he pulled Naruto closer by the lapels of his jacket. He was wearing the tired-dad jacket now. Sasuke tore it open to reveal a white tank top underneath. He peeled the jacket off so that he could appreciate Naruto’s defined pecs and biceps.

“Why are you always hiding under this ugly jacket?”

Naruto snorted. “Look who’s talking. You’re wearing that cape half the time. And this is the first time I see you wearing this shirt outside of…” he trailed off.

There was an unspoken agreement between them to never talk about their secret meetings.

Once it was over, it was never spoken of again. They also had an unspoken agreement about never falling for the temptation to let their guard down when they were in Konoha, not even in Naruto’s office.

They had never been very good at upholding that last agreement.

Naruto ran his hand down Sasuke’s waist, slipping a thumb underneath his shirt and thumbing his hip bone.

“We’re not doing it in here,” Sasuke said softly.

Naruto scooted closer and looked up at him with a teasing smile.

“No,” Sasuke said and attempted to harden his voice.

“It seemed like you wanted to just a minute ago.”

Sasuke looked at the row of panorama windows.

“Someone’s gonna see us.”

Naruto got up and pressed a button next to the windows, which lowered the blinds over all the windows. Then he went over and turned off the overhead lights so that the only light source was the desk lamp.

“I see you’ve prepared for this,” Sasuke said.

Naruto shrugged. “I needed to keep out the midday sun.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. The windows were shaded by the overhanging roof.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had sex on this desk,” Naruto said with a cocky grin.

Sasuke closed his eyes briefly. _Give me strength._

“And do you remember why we decided never to do that again?” he said.

“But no one’s here,” Naruto said, “and no one will be coming in this late. C’mon. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Being caught with my pants down and bent over your desk is a bit more adventure than I would like,” Sasuke said.

It turned out to be the wrong thing to say, because Naruto got that look on his face that said he’d only heard what he wanted to hear, which was ‘pants down’ and ‘bent over your desk’.

“Shikamaru was _this_ close to catching us back then,” Sasuke reminded Naruto.

“I gave Shikamaru strict orders to go home and spend time with his wife and kid tonight,” Naruto said. “He won’t be back. Temari will make sure of that.” Naruto threw himself down on his chair and scooted as close to Sasuke as he could come. He placed his hands on Sasuke’s thighs and grinned up at him.

“This is our one chance,” he said. He held Sasuke’s gaze as he lowered his head until his lips were inches from his crotch, and drawled, “I promise I won’t blow it.”

Sasuke snorted. He couldn’t help it. Naruto’s eyes glinted with mischief over his stupid pun.

“Was that a laugh?” Naruto teased.

“Hardly.”

“Hm… Something is hard alright.”

He nuzzled Sasuke’s crotch.

Sasuke tugged at his hair as retaliation to his self-satisfied puns. When Naruto started unbuttoning his pants he didn’t stop him, and he definitely wasn’t about to stop him when he took his cock in his mouth.

He ran his hand through soft, blond hair as he watched Naruto’s lips stretch around his cock. Naruto was good at giving blowjobs. He was enthusiastic, but careful at the same time, and he always pushed them both to the limit of what they could handle.

Sasuke found he was unable to keep worrying about being caught when Naruto’s lips were latched so tightly around his cock, relentlessly sucking him into his wet, hot mouth. He groaned softly and gripped Naruto’s hair harder. He still let Naruto be in charge since he knew that he disliked it if it became to rough, and Sasuke wasn’t so good at keeping in control when things got heated.

Naruto wasn’t going easy on him tonight.

Sasuke felt his limbs turn wobbly and his core turn molten as Naruto skillfully pushed all of his buttons, not even stopping when Sasuke curled over him with a soft whimper that was halfway between a plea and a curse.

He came inside Naruto’s mouth, and Naruto just sucked him gently through his orgasm, making sure not a drop of cum was spilled. Sasuke leant on Naruto’s shoulder, breathing hard.

Naruto ginned and pecked his lips. “Ready for round two?”

Sasuke groaned. “Naruto…”

“Come on,” Naruto pleaded. “We’re here, together, for the first time in months. We’re alone; no one knows you’re here… It’s the best chance we’ll get.”

Sasuke knew he was right. Sneaking around to meet some other place in Konoha without being noticed was nearly impossible, and doing this in either of their homes was… unthinkable. They could meet outside Konoha’s walls, as they’d done a few times before, but sex outdoors wasn’t as exciting as it sounded. Mostly it was just cold and uncomfortable.

Not that this desk was much more comfortable. But at least the room was warm.

Naruto already knew that he had him when Sasuke didn’t reply immediately. He got to his feet and adjusted his cock. Sasuke could see the outline of it against the juncture of Naruto’s thigh. Another reason to give in to this madness.

“Get up,” Naruto urged.

Sasuke sighed and got to his feet. Naruto grabbed his hips and spun him around before Sasuke had the time to say ‘what now?’ Then he pressed a hand to the small of Sasuke’s back and walked him up to the desk so that the front of his thighs were pressed to the edge of it.

Naruto wanted him to bend over, and slowly, after a long moment of hesitation, Sasuke did. Naruto pulled Sasuke’s pants and boxers down, and urged him to spread his legs. Sasuke shivered slightly as cool air hit his warm skin. Then Naruto’s hands were on him, squeezing his ass cheeks, fingers slipping in between them to circle his asshole, and Sasuke felt heat start to spread from inside.

He was leaning on his elbow and his stump on two stacks of documents. The desk was so filled with documents and books and folders that he couldn’t avoid crumbling and jostling some of it. Naruto didn’t seem to care in the least.

He ran his hand flat down Sasuke’s spine, bunching his shirt up to his shoulder blades. Then he grabbed Sasuke’s hips with both hands, and for a moment he just stood there, watching.

Sasuke closed his eyes tight and tried to avoid squirming. For some reason, knowing that Naruto was watching him as he stood there, clothes askew and body presented like an offering, gave Sasuke a rush of excited desire.

Naruto thumbed his hips almost absently, and Sasuke wished he could see his face, see his eyes roving over every inch of his body, see the hunger in them. But looking would break the spell, so instead he rested his forehead between his arms and just focused on his other senses. He could hear Naruto’s breathing clearly. It was already getting labored.

His hands trailed down Sasuke’s sides, his fingers brushing Sasuke’s stomach, then trailing back to his hips again and down to his ass. Then one hand left him entirely as Naruto leant over to look for something in one of his drawers.

“Do you still keep lube and condoms here?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto chuckled sheepishly. “Just in case,” was all he said. He warmed up the lube before applying it gently, which Sasuke was grateful for.

Naruto felt how tense he was and moved slowly, all the while making sure Sasuke stayed aroused. He bent over him and kissed along his spine, slid his free hand under Sasuke to flick a finger over his nipples, and teasingly caressed his lower stomach.

Slowly but surely, Sasuke’s cock grew hard again, and Naruto’s fingers inside him started to feel very nice.

Naruto straightened up to get leverage. “You have no idea how gorgeous you are when you stand like this,” he said, his voice husky. “You’re a sight, Sasuke.”  He squeezed one of his ass cheeks and rubbed the inside of his thigh with his thumb, caressing the soft skin behind his balls.

Sasuke bit his lip to keep down a soft groan.

“Don’t hold back,” Naruto said.

He started thrusting his fingers harder. He must have at least three fingers inside him by now. Sasuke’s breath hitched and he clutched the paper underneath his hand so hard that it curled.

Naruto leaned over and kissed Sasuke between his shoulder blades. “Don’t. Hold. Back.” He said, accentuating each word with a perfectly aimed thrust with his fingers.

Sasuke jolted and gasped.

Naruto thrust in one more time, holding his fingers pressed against Sasuke’s overly sensitive prostate for a moment longer before pulling out entirely.

Sasuke moaned softly at the lack of contact. He suddenly became acutely aware of how his back arched so that his ass jutted out, and how he had spread his legs as far as the pants around his thighs allowed. It made him a little self-conscious.

Naruto ran his hands down Sasuke’s thighs, to where they were pressed hard against the edge of the desk. There were indents where the wooden tabletop had dug into his skin.

“You should probably get on your back,” Naruto said.

With a bit of effort from the both of them, Sasuke managed to turn over onto his back. He was lying half-way across some folders, and there was at least a few piles of documents underneath him.

“Aren’t you worried about your documents?” Sasuke asked. One piece of paper had gotten stuck to his hip, and he pulled it off.

Naruto leant over Sasuke on both hands. “Nah, they’re copies.”

“Still…”

“Don’t be such a goody two shoes,” Naruto said and grinned. “Screw the documents.”

Sasuke sighed. “I see. Maybe you’re a bit too tired to be doing this right now…?”

Naruto leaned down and kissed the hollow of Sasuke’s throat. He lingered there for a moment.

“I want to throw all of this out the window,” he said calmly. “And then fuck you on the desk.

But…” He shrugged. “I can’t do that. So I’ll just fuck you on top of them.”

Sasuke carded his fingers through Naruto’s hair and kissed the top of his head.

“Is it really that bad?"

For a second he thought he felt Naruto shiver slightly, but then Naruto moved, kissing his way down Sasuke’s chest and nosing away the shirt so that he could flick his tongue over one nipple.

“I’m not sure if defiling important documents is the right way to go,” Sasuke intoned gently.

Naruto continued to pay attention to Sasuke’s nipple, sucking it in between his lips so that Sasuke’s breath hitched.

“I guess not,” he said, his breath fanning over the now hypersensitive nipple.

Sasuke swallowed down a groan. “But it makes me feel a bit better.”

He stood and in one swift move he pulled Sasuke’s pants and boxers down to his ankles. He took a moment to take off Sasuke’s shoes before he pulled the rest of his clothes off.

Sasuke lifted his hand to his shirt, but Naruto stopped him. “Leave that on.”

Sasuke cocked one eyebrow, but left the sweater on. He flicked his fingers over the exposed nipple as he lowered his arm, and Naruto followed the motion with acute interest. Sasuke had noticed a long time ago how easy it was to rile up Naruto, and he knew he could use it to his advantage, making Naruto pant and moan for it the same way he always loved to make Sasuke do. He never did, though. To him it felt weird to show off like a sultry, wanton thing. He knew Naruto loved it, but it would take a lot before Sasuke indulged in that kink. This time he felt a little playful, though. Maybe it was the excitement of seeing each other after such a long time… last time they barely got to look at each other at all, since it was so dark. He’d forgotten how alive Naruto’s eyes became when he was turned on. How the hunger was so evident in them; the ravenous desire that made Sasuke burn from head to toes. Or maybe it was because of the nature of what they were doing. Fucking atop the hokage’s desk. It was thrilling and daunting at the same time.

Naruto smiled and winked before he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. Sasuke rolled his eyes. He watched between his spread legs as Naruto pumped his flushed and rigid erection a few times before he reached into the drawer for a condom. He rolled it on in a languid motion. He wasn’t looking at Sasuke, but Sasuke knew that he felt his eyes on him nevertheless, and relished in it.

When he finally met Sasuke’s gaze, he grinned and leaned over him. “Like what you see?”

“You know I do,” Sasuke said, his voice husky.

Naruto chuckled, and for a moment he looked like a younger, less jaded version of himself. He leaned closer and gave Sasuke a soft, chaste kiss. He lingered for a bit, running his tongue along the seam of Sasuke’s lips, but when Sasuke’s lips parted he pulled back.

He grabbed Sasuke’s hips and pulled him closer, which led to Sasuke struggling to find purchase with his feet.

They had to adjust several times before they found a position that worked for them both. It wasn’t easy since the edge of the desk was either digging into Sasuke’s lower back, or came in the way for Naruto.

Finally, after having knocked over a huge pile of documents that went fluttering to the floor, Naruto decided to practically bend Sasuke in half, slinging his legs over his arms, and thus elevating Sasuke’s lower back enough to keep him from being pushed against the edge of the desk.

The moment the tip of Naruto’s cock pushed against Sasuke’s asshole, Sasuke realized he was going to come fast. He hadn’t found himself in this position in a long while, and he’d forgotten how he loved the combination of feeling trapped and held open, completely under Naruto’s control, but at the same time in the perfect position for the deep, intimate penetration that made his toes curl.

Naruto had found just the right angle and he slid in deep, rubbing right up against Sasuke’s prostate with the whole length of his cock. Sasuke was completely at his mercy now, and the act of fucking right there on Naruto’s desk, on top of these damned documents, just set him off like nothing else.

His breath caught in his throat, something that Naruto didn’t let go unnoticed, and then his whole focus was on Sasuke, his eyes intently fixed on Sasuke’s face, his hips rolling and thrusting, seeking out that spot inside Sasuke that could make him scream.

“It’s okay,” Naruto whispered, barely loud enough for Sasuke to hear, but he could see his lips move and he felt the words more than he heard them. He wanted to let go, he really did.

But they were in Naruto’s office for goddamned sake. What if…

Naruto leant down and kissed the side of Sasuke’s neck as he continued thrusting, rhythmically and expertly, rolling his hips slightly as he pushed in deep. It tore a half-formed gasp from Sasuke. He knew that he was screwed now… literally and figuratively. He wasn’t going to be able hold it down for much longer.Each exhale was choppy and breathy, each breath a half-formed moan.

“Are you… close…?” Naruto said in a strained voice. His thrusts were getting rougher and harder. Sasuke let his head drop back against the folders underneath him.

“Yes,” he gasped, just as Naruto thrust especially hard up into him.

A surprised moan left him, which drew a deep groan from Naruto. He clutched Sasuke tight, his hands like vices on Sasuke’s hips in order to hold him in place and not get pushed across the desk by the powerful thrusts.

He laid into Sasuke now, giving him everything he had, pushing in as deep as he could, holding himself there, deep inside Sasuke, thrusting wildly, choppily.

Sasuke gave in and let out a weak, desperate moan that got punched out of him with each of Naruto’s eager thrusts. His arm flailed for purchase when Naruto gripped him harder and jostled him roughly to bring him closer as he had slid back on the desk after all. His hand connected with something that dropped to the floor with a loud smash. Naruto didn’t react to it but leaned over Sasuke instead, one hand next to his head, the other still on his hip. Now their faces were only inches apart and Sasuke couldn’t avoid looking straight into Naruto’s wide-open eyes. He saw everything in them in that moment. Love, awe, desire…

He wanted to close his eyes because he knew that Naruto must be seeing the exact same thing in his eyes, and he knew that his face must be stupidly open and unguarded, but there was no way he was going to be able to break that gaze.

He was going to come with Naruto’s eyes firmly fixed on him, and nothing in this world could bring him greater pleasure. He reached down and desperately pumped his own cock. He had to come before Naruto so that he in turn could watch him come afterwards. He made a wet, surprised sound as he tensed up and then his orgasm washed through him. He heard Naruto’s breath hitch and saw his face go lax. Then he thrust hard up into Sasuke and with a grunt of effort he held them both tight as he came inside of Sasuke. Naruto’s cock twitched as he pumped slowly. Sasuke let all inhibitions go in the wake of his orgasm, and moaned deeply and with satisfaction.

He could never get enough of that feeling right when Naruto came, when his movements became languid and he clutched Sasuke for dear life. He was everything to Naruto in that moment. He could see it in his eyes, feel it in the warmth of his hands. He wished that Naruto could have come inside him, and not into the condom. He wished to keep something of him.

Naruto let out a shivery breath as he finally spent himself, and gently pulled out of Sasuke.

He leaned over him for a few seconds, his head bent, trying to catch his breath. Sasuke didn’t care that he lay sprawled on a pile of crumpled paper at the moment. His muscles ached and his back was sore, but he was still too high on endorphins to really care at the moment.

Naruto gently helped him sit up and Sasuke put his shaky feet on the floor. He had lost the feeling in his feet, and Naruto quickly guided him to the office chair. Sasuke pulled down his sweater, suddenly embarrassingly aware of his nipples peeking out. Naruto threw away the condom, making sure it was buried under a bunch of crumbled paper, before he zipped up his pants.

Sasuke nodded towards the mess on the desk.

“Who’s gonna tidy up that?”

Naruto groaned.

He apparently hadn’t thought that far.

“I think something crashed to the floor,” Sasuke said. Naruto looked over the edge of the desk. He sighed.

“It was the photo of my family. Frame’s broken.”

Sasuke avoided his eyes just as much as Naruto avoided his. Suddenly he felt very naked. He picked up his pants and boxers and stood to pull them on. When he looked at Naruto again, he was watching him.

“I don’t regret it,” he said.

Sasuke, thinking he meant the sex, said, “Why should you?”

Naruto reached out and nudged Sasuke closer. He brought one arm around his waist. The other he caressed his cheek with.

“I don’t regret one single moment I’ve spent with you.”

Sasuke looked at a point behind Naruto’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure how to meet this sudden honesty.

“Sasuke…” Naruto nudged his chin with his pointer finger.

Sasuke reluctantly met his eyes, though as he did, he did it without flinching.

Naruto pushed Sasuke’s fringe away from his left eye.

“I love you,” he said, his voice low but the words clear.

Sasuke fought not to close his eyes to hide the feelings that crossed them so openly in that moment.

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered.

Naruto kissed him, holding him tight, as tough he was afraid to let go.

“It matters,” he said fiercely between kisses. “To me it does.”

Sasuke accepted the kisses with parted lips. He felt Naruto’s tongue press against his and caress it sweetly before retreating. Then he kissed Sasuke’s lower lip and pulled back.

“Do you want to stay a little longer?” he said, suddenly sounding a little shy.

Sasuke nodded. Why not? He wasn’t looking forward to going back home to a house that wasn’t and never would be his. If he divorced Sakura, he could get his own house, and he could have Sarada with him when he came back from missions. He would have liked that.

They sat down on the carpet, leaning against the wall underneath the windows.

“What’re you thinking about?” Naruto said.

“Hm… Just how it would be to divorce Sakura. She thinks it’s best for Sarada that we stay together, but I think she’s gotten old enough to learn the truth.”

“Are you gonna tell her?”

Sasuke shrugged. “I have to convince Sakura first. But from what I’ve heard she’s started seeing someone regularly so I guess she’s gonna be more amenable to the idea now.”

“Yeah… Does she know that you’re sleeping with me?”

“No.”

“She hasn’t guessed it either?”

“I don’t think so.”

Naruto ran one hand absentmindedly up and down Sasuke’s thigh, sometimes squeezing his bent knee.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sasuke asked. “You seemed so… fed up.”

“I don’t know… I guess this is all starting to become too much. I’m supposed to be out there, you know? Out in the field, where it happens. Instead I’m just sending you away on all the fun missions, which feels wrong in two ways because I’m supposed to be there with you.”

He looked at Sasuke.

“We’re not supposed to be separated.” He grabbed Sasuke’s hand and ran his thumb over his knuckles.

“We were separated for four years, and those were the worst years of my life.” Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand and held it tight. If it hurt Naruto, he didn’t say anything.

“Could you at least take shorter missions now?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke relaxed his grip on his hand. “When I get my own place, I will.”

Naruto nodded. He met Sasuke’s gaze and smiled.

“Do you think people would accept us? If we came out?”

“I don’t know.”

Their friends… or, Naruto’s friends, as they actually were, thought they tolerated Sasuke… they would surely accept them. They were not the problem. Even Sakura would most probably be happy for them. She had expressed subtle concern over the last few years because of Sasuke’s self-inflicted loneliness. She wanted him to find someone because no matter how much she loved him, she wished to see him happy more than she wished to have him for herself. And she had realized years ago that she never truly could have him.

The real problem was the town as a whole. There were many small-minded people there who would turn their back on Naruto, no matter how well-loved he was as a hokage, if he went against their norms and traditions.

But who knew. Perhaps they would accept him readily, no matter what. Perhaps they were better than Sasuke gave them credit for. He hardly thought so, but if there was one thing Naruto had taught him, it was to always give people the benefit of the doubt.

Well, at least he tried to do that.

It wasn’t as easy as it sounded.

Naruto sighed and pulled Sasuke’s hand into his lap. He played with his fingers while he stared off into thin air. Sasuke didn’t pull his hand back, but allowed Naruto to continue his absent minded game. He knew that Naruto liked to touch just to feel close to someone, and he liked to be that person to Naruto.

“How is… your family?” he asked hesitantly. Though he would have liked to pretend Hinata didn’t exist, it wasn’t exactly easy to do that then when she was such a large part of Naruto’s life. So he asked about Naruto’s family as a whole, and hoped he’d say as little as possible about her.

“Boruto talks about you all the time,” Naruto said. “I would have been jealous if it wasn’t so cute. I bet he would have loved to have you as his other dad.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, though he sort of liked the idea.

“Himawari is a bit absent minded… Or, at least that’s what Hinata says…” He scratched the back of his neck. “I should probably spend more time with her. I hardly know my own daughter.”

Sasuke refrained from saying _you should_ because he honestly had no right to pass judgment in that regard.

“Hinata has been acting a bit weirdly lately,” Naruto continued. “She seems… happier.”

“Hm… Weird,” Sasuke said, and for once Naruto caught the sarcasm.

“I guess I made it sound like a bad thing, but it isn’t. Of course it isn’t. But it’s just so obvious that something has changed, and I don’t know what it is. Yesterday when I came home, she was wearing perfume. She hasn’t been wearing perfume since we dated. And I think she might be working out, because I swear she’s gotten thinner.”

“Alright,” Sasuke interrupted. “No matter how interesting it is to listen to you go on and on about her, I really don’t have time for this.”

Naruto clutched Sasuke’s hand tighter as though he feared he was leaving. “Sorry. I just haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about it. Everyone is too busy.”

“Call the press. The golden boy doesn’t have time to talk.”

“I’m being serious,” Naruto said and nudged Sasuke’s side with a finger. Sasuke jolted.

“I’ve told you not to do that,” he hissed. He was ticklish and he hated it, and Naruto knew that. He was giving him a mischievous grin right now, one that said he was going to launch into a tickle attack.

“Don’t,” Sasuke warned, but Naruto just pulled him closer by his arm and trapped him between his legs. “If this is a trap…”

“I just want to hold you,” Naruto said in his most innocent voice, which wasn’t innocent at all.

Sasuke wasn’t really fighting him that hard, and they both knew it. He rested his head against Naruto’s chest. Then he sighed.

“Okay. Talk.”

Naruto nuzzled the top of his head. “I think I’ve fucked up everything,” he said.

“You didn’t realize that until now?”

“Glass houses, Sasuke.”

“What about them?”

“You know… Throwing stones and all that… Why are you laughing?” He nudged Sasuke who immediately stopped laughing in favor for grumbling.

“Oh, I get it,” Naruto said. “You understood all along. Funny. Anyway, I feel like everything that’s happened since I married Hinata has just been… wrong. I told myself I was happy. I even believed it. I was becoming hokage, which I’d always dreamed of. There was peace in all the countries at last. All of these things should have made me happy.” He sighed and leant his chin on top of Sasuke’s head. “Why didn’t it? What went wrong?”

Sasuke was quiet for a very long time. Then he slowly said, “Maybe the things you want doesn’t mean anything if you don’t feel happy with yourself in the first place.”

Naruto ran his hand up and down Sasuke’s arm. “I felt happy when I was with you.”

Sasuke shifted so that he was sitting with his back against Naruto’s chest.

“Yeah, when we were alone together,” he said. He grabbed Naruto’s hand and caressed his palm with his thumb. Naruto leaned his forehead against Sasuke’s back.

“You always got nervous when we were around others,” Sasuke added.

“Are you blaming our break up on me?”

“No…”

It wasn’t Naruto’s fault alone that they fought all the time. It wasn’t Naruto’s fault that Sasuke had felt restless and uneasy. And it wasn’t Naruto’s fault that Sasuke had agreed to break it off because he, in a moment of odd and perhaps guilt-ridden foolishness, had thought it was a good idea to try and make it work with Sakura in order to produce an heir to his clan. 

Naruto sighed. “In an ideal world, we would have been married to each other right now. We would have slept together in our own bed, in our own house, instead of skulking around at night.”

Sasuke didn’t like to think about what could have happened in an ideal world. This wasn’t an ideal world. He untangled himself from Naruto’s arms and stood. “I better go home.”

“Please don’t walk away like that,” Naruto said. He got to his feet and followed Sasuke as he picked up his shoes and his cape. “I too wish things had turned out differently between us. But we agreed to part ways because we both thought it was for the best. We couldn’t know that it wasn’t.”

Sasuke pulled on his shoes and draped the cape around his shoulders. “But we should have known,” he said.

“It’s in the past now,” Naruto said. “There’s no point in blaming ourselves for something we can’t change.”

He reached out and touched Sasuke’s waist, and then he pulled him in for a kiss. Sasuke allowed himself to get lost in it, just this once, before they had to pretend to only be friends again. He slung his arm around Naruto’s neck and deepened the kiss, feeling satisfied only when he managed to coax a groan out of Naruto.

Then he let go and took a step back, smirking when Naruto just stood there dumbly, his lips parted and confusion fogging his eyes.

“Later,” Sasuke said before he slipped out of the room as swiftly and quietly as he had entered.


	3. Ad Libitum

Days turned into weeks, but Sasuke stayed in Konoha. Naruto was grateful for every new day that he got to spend with him. They saw each other as often as they could. They often took long evening walks around town, and they could sit for hours on rooftops and talk, or just stare up at the stars in companionable silence.

Naruto knew he shouldn’t get used to it. Soon Sasuke would ask to be sent off again, and he wouldn’t see him for another six months.

The thought was unbearable.

But he had to make the most of the time that they had. This was how they had chosen to live their lives. They couldn’t just turn back time and redo everything.

Naruto didn’t want to do that either.

Two wonderful things had come out of this after all: his children. He wouldn’t undo them for anything in the world. That didn’t mean that he had to stay in an unsatisfying marriage.

He was not entirely sure why or how he and Hinata had managed to keep together for so long. A few years ago he had worked up the courage to tell Hinata about Sasuke. He had thought that it would turn into a divorce and he was fine with that. But instead Hinata had just quietly accepted it. Naruto had been so grateful and confused that he couldn’t bring himself to divorce her.

It was a mess.

He told himself that it was better that they stayed together a little longer for the sake of their kids, but the kids noticed that something was wrong either way. Naruto was barely at home anymore because he felt out of place in his own house, and when he was home he didn’t sleep in the same bed as Hinata. The kids noticed this, and it affected them.

It had to stop.

Sasuke was planning to leave Sakura.

Perhaps it was about time Naruto left Hinata too.

It was just even more difficult to do so when Hinata seemed so happy. When he came back from work in the evening she greeted him rosy cheeked and smiling, looking better than she had for years. This particular evening she was even wearing a new dress, one that accentuated her figure instead of hiding it. Naruto was stunned to see her that way.

“Hey… You look great,” he said.

She practically beamed at him.

“Come here,” she said. She led him to the living room and sat him down on the couch. She sat down next to him.

“Where are the kids?” he asked.

“Upstairs.” She turned towards him and folded her hands in front of her. “Naruto,” she started. She looked down at the floor. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Naruto feared the worst. Was one of the kids ill? Was  _ she _ ill?

Then Hinata smiled softly and blushed a bit. She looked insecure and yet hopeful when she glanced over at him.

“I… I’ve met someone.”

Naruto realized in that moment that he had actually never expected her to say those words. He had wanted her to, but he had never imagined she would. He also realized as he was hovering for a long moment between jealousy and happiness, that it was tougher to let go of her than he had thought, even when he knew that the love he had for her was more platonic than romantic.

She was his wife, after all. They had been married for a long time. They had kids together.

She meant so much to him, and now she had finally broken away from him. The reason he, in that very moment, managed to let go of the jealousy and only feel happiness for her, was because he now realized how she must have felt all these years, knowing he was sleeping with someone else, and he felt a new kind of respect for her.

“That’s great,” he said, and he really meant it.

She smiled, her round, pale eyes softening as she looked at him. She moved closer and hugged him. He held her tight.

“I know it doesn’t mean much,” he murmured into her hair. “But I’m sorry for what I put you through.”

She just pressed her face against his shoulder for a moment longer. When she pulled away again, her smile was still on her face, though slightly more strained.

“What is done is done,” she said. “I realized early on that I had nothing on him. I guess I should have left earlier, but… I really did love you, you know.”

This only pained Naruto more, but he knew he deserved to hear it.

“I love you too,” he said.

“Just not enough.” She didn’t say it with any malice or accusation. She just stated plain facts with a sad smile on her face.

“I’ve got to go,” she said. “Dinner’s in the fridge. Make sure the kids are in bed before ten.”

“Okay.”

“And…” She hesitated at the door. “Don’t wait up. I’ll be back late.”

He sat frozen for a long moment after she’d closed the door behind her.

 

\------

 

Sasuke received an urgent note from Naruto one morning.

_ Meet me by the bridge. _

It didn’t say anything else. Sasuke didn’t have anything important to do since Sarada was on a mission, and Sakura was at work, so he hurried off. By the gate he showed the small note with the hokage seal on it.

“Mission,” he said.

He was let through without a question asked. Other ninja were allowed to leave Konoha with nothing but a wave and a smile, but unless Sasuke wanted a manhunt on his heels, he had to bring a note from the hokage like a preschooler getting permission to go on an excursion.

Though the note said to meet on the bridge, Sasuke quickly took off into the woods as soon as he was out of sight from the gates. He and Naruto had a secret meeting place not far from Konoha. Usually, they went there just to spend a few hours alone together, but Naruto’s message had been so urgent that Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

He weaved his way through the trees until he reached the top of a hill. The forest thinned out near a small river. A copse of small trees stood protectively around a bank of soft, green grass. Sasuke laid down in the grass and enjoyed the subdued noises of the forest. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was miles away from Konoha and its looming shadow.

He didn’t hear Naruto approach, but he felt it. As usual, he just knew that he was near. He could feel the pull between them even with his eyes closed. He felt the gentle disturbance in the air as Naruto kneeled next to him. For a while they stayed like that. Sasuke knew that once he opened his eyes, he would be able to see if something was wrong just from looking into Naruto’s eyes, and he realized that he was afraid of what he’d see.

If Naruto looked troubled, or apologetic, or worse: falsely cheerful, then he knew that he could expect bad news.

When he finally opened his eyes, finding Naruto’s gaze on him as he’d known he would, he was surprised to see that Naruto looked completely calm.

“Hi,” Naruto said.

“What’s the urgency?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh… Sorry about that, I just… I’ve wanted to talk to you for a few days now, but there hasn’t been time.”

“So no one died?”   


“No,” Naruto grinned. “Actually, I have good news. Do you remember that I told you Hinata was acting weird?”

“Yeah.”

“Turns out, she was seeing someone, and now she wants to file for divorce.”

Sasuke didn’t know what to say. This was unexpected…

“How are the kids taking it?”

“…We haven’t told them yet.”

Naruto thumbed Sasuke’s wrist with an absent look on his face.

“So… I take it you’re okay with it?” Sasuke said.

Naruto smiled. “Yeah. I feel relieved, actually. It was a bit tough just when it happened, but now I’m just glad that the decision has been made.”

Sasuke grasped Naruto’s hand and squeezed it gently. As dependent as Naruto was of his family, of belonging someplace, Sasuke could imagine that all of this was tougher for him than he let on.

“But what about you?” Naruto said. “Have you talked to Sakura about a divorce?”

“No. I wanted to spend some time with Sarada first, now that I’m here.”

“Are you planning to, though?”

“Yeah. I meant to do it now that Sarada has left on a mission.”

Naruto leaned down and kissed Sasuke. His lips lingered over Sasuke’s for a moment before he pulled back. He stretched out on the grass and leant on one elbow.

“What should we do… afterwards?” he asked.

Sasuke hadn’t thought farther than getting his own place. He had already been looking at houses. He hadn’t expected Naruto to actually ever leave Hinata, but in the end she was the one who had taken action.

“I guess we’ll come out,” Sasuke said. “And then we can live together.”

Naruto sighed. “If I wasn’t the hokage, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But so much stands or falls on people’s reactions.”

“Does it really matter, though?” Sasuke asked. “I mean, would it be so bad if you have to leave the job?”

Naruto fell into deep thought.

“I can’t just leave it,” he said at last. “Who’d take over after me?”

“I know of someone who would be suitable.”

“Really? Who?”

Sasuke chuckled. “You can’t make a guess?”

Naruto frowned and absentmindedly plucked some grass. “Yeah… I know of someone.”

He looked at Sasuke. “Do you think she would…?”

“She will at least consider it, if you ask her.”

Naruto nodded. “Okay. Let’s not tell her about us until after she has considered, though.”

“Do you think she’ll react that badly?”

“Saying you accept that your spouse is sleeping with someone is one thing… Knowing it happened is something different.”

“Talking from your own experience?”

Naruto sighed. “I didn’t think knowing Hinata had moved on would hurt so much. I mean… I wanted her to move on. I told her that. But when she did, all I felt was… Well… Gah, it’s so stupid.”

“You got jealous?”

“…Yeah. But, not crazy jealous, like I did when I had to hear from Sakura that you two had slept together.”

“Don’t give me that tone,” Sasuke said. “That was  _ after _ you sent me the wedding invite before you even mentioned that you and Hinata were dating.”

“That invite was an accident,” Naruto muttered. “I meant to tell you before I sent it…”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you were keeping it secret from me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. But you didn’t have to go and sleep with Sakura to get back at me.”

“We had broken up.”

“We had broken up when I started dating Hinata, too,” Naruto snapped. Then he sighed and added more calmly, “I should have told you earlier. I just didn’t know how. We had agreed to move on, but… It felt wrong to actually do it. Telling you about it would make it irrefutable. I remember wishing that you would come back to Konoha and stop me…”

“Maybe I would have,” Sasuke said softly. “If I had known earlier.”

“Besides,” Naruto said. “You said you wanted to revive your clan.”

“… I don’t think I said it so cynically that time.”

“No, but the point is that you were moving on too. Or, I thought you were.”

They both got quiet.

Sasuke shifted onto his side and rested his head on his arm. He blew a tuft of hair away from his eye. His hair was getting too long.

“Are you gonna leave your hokage position either way?” he asked, returning to their initial discussion.

“I really want to travel again,” Naruto said. His frown disappeared and he got a faraway look on his face, a smile playing in the corners of his mouth. “Like we did all those years back. I’ve never been happier than I was back then.”

“What about your dream?”

“I’ve realized my dream. I managed to become hokage, even with the background I had. But it’s not a job that suits me. I hate being confined to an office. I like being able to change things, but in the end I couldn’t change the things that really mattered.” He looked at Sasuke. “Maybe I can be of more help somewhere else.”

Sasuke met his gaze. He remembered the first time he’d seen into those eyes. Back then he’d seen a defiant, hurt and willful child. Even then he had known that Naruto was special. That they were connected somehow.

Naruto bopped Sasuke’s nose. “What’re you thinking so hard about?”

Sasuke blinked as he returned to the present. “Nothing,” he muttered.    

Naruto smiled like he knew that wasn’t true, but he didn’t pry. Perhaps he knew. Perhaps his thoughts had gone to the same place.

Naruto looked up at the blue, cloudless sky, and squinted against the bright sunlight.

“It’s a beautiful day.” He looked at Sasuke again and something else entered his gaze. Something playful and cheeky.

“Hey, now that we’re already here…” His fingers caressed Sasuke’s hip lightly. “I want to see you naked.”

Sasuke felt a warm tingle rush through his body, centering in his stomach.

“Just see?” he teased.

“Yeah, I need some jerk-off material.”

Sasuke rolled over onto his back. “Is that all I am to you? Jerk-off material?”

Naruto smiled innocently. “What else should I jerk off to?”

“You smooth little…”

Naruto nudged at the hem of Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke didn’t stop him from slowly rolling it up to his chest, uncovering his hard, flat stomach and sharp hip bones. Sasuke shivered when a sudden chilled breeze touched his warm skin.

Naruto’s eyes were half closed, watching Sasuke with languid praise.

Sasuke unclasped his cape and pulled the shirt over his head. He left it in the grass. Naruto quickly unzipped Sasuke’s pants and pulled them down together with boxers and shoes. They’d had sex outdoors a few other times, so Sasuke was starting to get a bit more used to being so exposed. No one had come across them yet, and Sasuke had put up a small genjutsu around the place that still held, so he wasn’t overly worried.

Still, there was something about being so vulnerable in a place with so many potentially dangerous factors. He was always a bit alert, even when he appreciated the way Naruto eagerly drank in the sight of his naked body. Naruto ran the tips of his fingers over Sasuke’s naked hip, making him shiver slightly, and down his thigh, rubbing gentle circles into his skin.

Sasuke slowly relaxed a little more, allowing the gentle touch to rouse warmth in him that bled into every cell in his body.

Naruto worked his hands slowly up Sasuke’s body, past his stomach and up to his ribs, across his chest, lingering by his nipples, and continuing up his throat to his cheeks. 

Sasuke opened his eyes, which he hadn’t even been aware he had closed, when Naruto just held his face between his hands.

Naruto smiled when he met his eyes. “You look gorgeous.”

Sasuke blushed a bit.

“Take your clothes off too,” he said.

Naruto did.

He unzipped his jacket, a little too slowly in Sasuke’s opinion, and shrugged it off. His nipples were hard. They poked against the thin fabric of his tank top. He grabbed the hem of his top and slowly pulled it upwards. His eyes were shining with mischief.

Sasuke couldn’t say he disliked the show, though. He propped up on his elbow and watched intently. Naruto’s muscled played under his skin as he lifted his arms over his head and pulled the shirt off.

Unlike Sasuke’s lean, wiry body, Naruto had bulging muscles that showed off a more obvious strength. Sasuke suddenly found that his whole body was abuzz with needy heat.

Naruto’s patience snapped before Sasuke’s, though, and soon he had kicked off the rest of his clothes, and kneeled naked next to Sasuke, his cock already stiff and jutting slightly upwards.

He leaned over Sasuke and kissed him. Sasuke took the opportunity to run his hand over Naruto’s warm body, over his chest and his pert nipples, down his stomach until he was holding his cock. He pumped it slowly, making Naruto grunt and jerk his hips.

Sasuke panted into the kiss. His body felt like it just had discovered a thousand new nerve endings. He felt so sensitive that each little gust of air affected him. Naruto shuffled closer to him, so that he was lying halfway on top of him. He grunted softly as he rolled his hips so that his cock slid across Sasuke’s palm.

Suddenly he pulled away, which left Sasuke in a moment of confusion. Then he realized that Naruto was looking for something in the pockets of his pants. Had he brought…?

A small travel-size tube of lube was thrown in his direction.

Naruto searched through his pockets once more.

“Fuck…” he said.

“What is it?”

“Forgot the condom.”

Sasuke considered for only a second. “Let’s do it anyway.”

Naruto hesitated.

“I’m clean,” Sasuke said, “and I know you are because you’ve told me so every time I asked, and yet you refused to do it without a condom.”

Naruto still hesitated.

“Don’t be such a goody two shoes,” Sasuke parroted at him. He hesitated for a moment before casually asking, “Have you had that many sex partners in the past year?”

“No,” Naruto admitted. He paused before adding, “Only you.”

Sasuke tried to hide how surprised he was, but failed.

“What, did you think I slept around?” Naruto asked.

“I thought at least that you slept with your wife.”

Naruto shrugged. “Hinata and I stopped sleeping together years ago. I don’t know exactly why… We both just stopped initiating.”

Sasuke sat up and pulled Naruto close to him.

He wrapped his arm around his neck and kissed him deeply. Then he pressed the lube into Naruto’s hand. He didn’t need to say anything, didn’t even have to break the kiss. Naruto coated his fingers with the lube and gently pushed one finger inside of Sasuke. Sasuke climbed onto his lap and rolled his hips, pressing and rubbing their cocks between their stomachs.

Naruto thrust his fingers hard up into Sasuke, flattening his palm against Sasuke’s ass. He quickly but gently added fingers until three of them were stretching Sasuke wide.

Sasuke’s mouth opened around a quiet gasp. He was too sensitive for this. He wasn’t gonna last long. His cock was squeezed between them again, and this time he actually gasped.

“Wait,” he panted, “I’m gonna… Hahh!”

The surprised moan was jerked from him as Naruto curled his fingers just at the right moment, sending Sasuke spiraling into a quick and unexpected orgasm.

He clawed at Naruto’s back.

“No, no… You were supposed to come inside me first,” he murmured against Naruto’s neck.

Naruto lowered him down on the cape without letting go of Sasuke for even a moment, and settled between his legs. “I can still do that,” he breathed against Sasuke’s ear.

Sasuke’s heart jolted in his chest. They had done it a few times before, if Sasuke felt up to it. He would come dry. His toes curled against Naruto’s calves. He was holding his breath in anticipation. It would be a bit painful in the beginning, but the result was definitely worth it. He was already panting hard, his face pressed to the side of Naruto’s neck.

His mouth opened around a soundless groan as Naruto held the tip of his cock against his asshole and slowly pushed inside. He clutched Naruto tighter, and pressed his nose and his lips against Naruto’s damp skin.

A half-formed gasp escaped him.

He felt that Naruto held back, and he knew that it wasn’t just in order to give Sasuke more time. Oh no… He was waiting for Sasuke to stop holding back. He wouldn’t have to wait for much longer. Sasuke was giving in to it, and he did it gladly. He had been waiting for this too.

Another gasp left him. It was short and soft. He rubbed his cheek against Naruto’s. His lips touched Naruto’s ear. He moaned when Naruto rolled his hips, his dick pressing against Sasuke’s prostate.

He was focusing solely on pleasing Sasuke now. He didn’t focus so much on thrusting as he did on holding himself deep inside of Sasuke, keeping the pressure constant, and thrusting shallowly.

Sasuke lost it.

He couldn’t even remember that he made the deepest, most satisfying moans until Naruto playfully teased him about it afterwards. He only remembered that he kept encouraging Naruto to come inside of him.

His hand was buried deeply in Naruto’s hair, and he pressed his parted lips to any patch of Naruto’s skin that he could reach.

All he knew was that Naruto was inside of him and around him, that his scent was thick in his nose and his taste sweet on his lips, and that he felt his breath on his neck and heard his hitched breaths and his deep groans.

He had never come that hard or that long before in his life. He could swear he felt it begin in his toes and in the back of his neck, and spiral inward until he felt certain he’d be torn into a million glorious pieces before being reassembled as a new person.

Embarrassingly enough, he cried a little, a tear making its way down and smearing over Naruto’s cheek. If it had been with anyone else other than Naruto, he would never have spoken to that person again. But this  _ was _ Naruto and if anyone were to see him like this, it had to be him.

Every breath felt like thunder in his ears as he came down. He was drenched in sweat and so was Naruto. They were still entangled in each other. Naruto was still moving. He grunted in Sasuke’s ear as his body seized up, and then he thrust deeply and stilled. He gasped. His eyelids fluttered. Sasuke stared at his face and memorized his expression. He looked beautiful.

Naruto thrust shakily, his cock pulsing, and Sasuke felt a shiver run up his spine, felt muscles deep inside of him clench as Naruto came inside of him. He moaned helplessly. His body was mellow and accepting, his legs cradled Naruto effortlessly. He felt the slight strain on his body, but he didn’t care right now.

He could swear his eyes rolled back in his head and he arched weakly as Naruto groaned and spilled every last drop of cum inside of Sasuke.

Naruto made one last, soft sound before he stilled and slumped over Sasuke.

Sasuke could already tell that he was going to be incredibly sore, but he didn’t care one bit. He felt so wonderfully satisfied.

Naruto kissed him once before gently pulling out and rolling to the side. He put one arm around Sasuke and brought him close. They lay there for a long while just catching their breath.

Sasuke turned over to nuzzle the base of Naruto’s throat.

“Did you have a mini-orgasm at the end there?” Naruto murmured.

Sasuke nipped at his skin in retaliation.

Naruto ran one hand through Sasuke’s sweat dampened hair and chuckled softly.

“I wasn’t teasing,” he said. “I was wondering how I could make you come like that more often.”

Sasuke pressed his face against Naruto’s neck.

“Just come inside me again,” he murmured. He ran one leg up Naruto’s calf, hooking it over his thigh.

The thought that he was filled with Naruto’s cum right now still made his whole body tingle.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s head and pulled him away a bit so that he could see his face.

“What kind of sex crazed monster have I made?”

Sasuke snorted. “You didn’t make anything. You just found it.”

Naruto chuckled.

They washed off in the river and lay down in the grass to dry off before they finally walked home.

“Won’t they miss you at the office?” Sasuke said.

“Shikamaru runs the show in my absence. Though, he’s probably gonna be pissed. I said I’d be back in an hour.”

“It’s lunch-time,” Sasuke said. He paused before he added, “Wanna go for ramen?”

Naruto grinned. “Did you really need to ask?”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Of course it is.”

“I thought you’d want to go back to the office and save Shikamaru.”

“… A few more minutes won’t kill him.”


End file.
